Thursday, 14 November 2013

Unicorn Droppins! AW November Blog Chain.

This month the AW blog chain prompt was Unicorn Droppings. So I give you my very hastily (you can thank NaNoWriMo for the haste) slapped together little project. There is a list at the bottom of this post of the others participating in this blog chain - be sure to check out their take on this month's magical prompt.

**Language Warning**

Unicorn Droppings. Yeah, ok. I'll just nip out and pick some up at the nearest apothecary shall I? This is a joke. Surely. Yet here I am, stumbling between scrubs and avoiding killer ants in this shithole of a forest trying to find Unicorn Droppings for my mage. I'd always been told that Mage Ivan was a hard mage. Great at his work but a real prick to his apprentices. I'd simply considered myself tough enough to handle any bullshit that he'd put me through, but now as his apprentice, spending days camping out looking for something I'm sure doesn't exist, I'm starting to regret applying to study under the old man.

Three days. It's three days I've been out here. When he told me what I was after I asked if it was a plant of some kind. Nope. Actual unicorn shit is what I'm after. Ok then. He packed me up and told me to head on down to the forest by the hills to find some unicorn shit. Ok. The first day I spent blundering around looking for poop that looked like rainbow ice-cream. Since then I've simply taken to stumbling around in caves and other places that I imagine a horse would like to go, why not a unicorn eh? I've given up for the morning. The clearing I'm having lunch in is quite pleasant, and if not for the futility of the task that lay ahead of me I would be enjoying the scenery. God only knows when he expects me to return empty handed. I'll give it a couple more days though, just to show the old joker that I can play at his game too - he'll be the one without an assistant for almost a week.

On the far side of the clearing, some leaves shake. Probably a small rabbit or something. It's not unusual for them to be scurrying about in the undergrowth at this time of day. I consider catching it for my dinner that night but I shake off the thought, there'll be more rabbits and right now I can't be bothered. That's when I hear a - what was it? A whinny? Surely there wasn't a pony in the bush. If there was it would be awfully rare for me to stumble across one now - the poachers that hunted and sold them to the towns would have beaten me to it.

Then I see it. It steps out toward me from the other side of the clearing. A stunning white beast with a mane so fine it shines like the hope in the heart of a teenage girl, the tail so long it brushes against the ground. I sit there stunned as the creature looks at me. Then in a matter of moments it's gone, but not before it's turned on it's heel and deposited a load of fresh dung before me. Well fuck me. Unicorn's really do shit glitter.

A bit shorter this time, god only knows where this came from, out of the ass of the unicorn I imagine.

Fellow AW bloggers monthly prompt links below;
ishtar'sgate - (link to post)
orion_mk3 - (link to post)
sweetwheat - (link to post)
skunkmelons - (link to post)
BBBurke - (link to post)
Sudo_One - (link to post)


  1. Do they really shit glitter, or is it just glitting shitter?

    Loved the line "it shines like the hope in the heart of a teenage girl" :D

  2. My question is - what's she going to use to pick it up with? E-u-u-w.

  3. "A stunning white beast with a mane so fine it shines like the hope in the heart of a teenage girl" I see I'm not the only one who liked that line! Now, wasn't all the stumbling around in the forest worth the site of a unicorn? Wasn't it? Maybe the dude's a prick, but he's giving one-of-a-kind experiences as well. :)

  4. lmao i loved this!!!! I love her attitude. Would be a great character in a novel. :D