NOTE: Just a language warning on this one guys, there's a touch of potty mouth :)
I found my sister. I saw her and my heart leapt. Her face was red, and tears were flowing freely. That woman was there, why couldn’t she just leave her alone? I rushed to her, my arms outstretched. I pulled her close to me, felt her sobbing against my chest as I held her tightly to me. I had to protect her. The woman was saying something, trying to justify bringing my sister to tears like this.
“If you have issues with me, they are between you and me, there’s no need to bring my sister into this.” I heard myself say. I just wanted her to stop, to leave us so that I could stop the tears, so that I could make my little sister smile again. She was talking again but I wasn’t paying attention, I just wanted my little sister’s hurt to stop.
She couldn’t stand, she sat down on the gravel, dirtying her apron and continued to sob. I knelt next to her and held her close. The woman was still talking.
“I’m sorry but you’ll just have to get back to work.” She barked before walking off. I tried in vain to calm my closest friend. I held her close to me and tried to soothe her. As the flow of tears steadied and her sobs ceased to wrack her body I pulled away.
“What do you want to do?” I asked, “I can take you home, put on your shirt and finish your shift if you’d like,”
“No,” she replied, ever the trooper. “I just want her to go so that I can finish my shift. I just want to work and take my mind off things.”
I sighed. I didn’t know how to improve her pain. I helped her stand and walked her around to the front so that she could dry her tears.
“I’m here,” I said as we walked in. I purchased a coffee and a newspaper and sat at a table out the front. She came to confront me. I had no words. I couldn’t talk to this woman that was spitting vile and thoughtless things to me. I despised this town, I listened to her quarrel, searching for a way to make her see the light, but she wouldn’t have for all my efforts.
I’m sick of this town. Of the rumours and bullshit that goes around. Apparently I’d said some pretty nasty stuff that had her in tears. Apparently I’d said them to a close friend of mine that had confided in her. Apparently I think I can get away with anything because I’m gorgeous. That is what hurt me most of all, this woman scolding me like a child. I was clueless as to how I was to handle the situation, it was word against word. Nothing I could say to her would convince her of my confusion and innocence. Once a mind is made it can’t be unmade. I told her that apparently I sleep with a different bloke every weekend – that’s this town. A ‘close’ friend of mine had started that rumour – who’s to say another ‘close’ friend of mine didn’t start this one?
I’m beyond caring. If at her age, she seeks out the helpless younger sister of the person she has an issue with, what is she proving? What has my sister done to provoke her so? Nothing. I can vouch for that. She walked off.
Now my hands were numb. I couldn’t feel them, they’d gone all pins and needle-y and I could hardly move my fingers. My top lip was the same. I sat in the chair clasping my hands together to keep myself calm. I sat there until the feeling had passed and I could regain a sense of myself. How did this woman have this effect on me. She walked past.
“Friends and family aren’t allowed to just hang around and not do anything but of course you probably know that,” She said as she walked away.
Well fuck that. I was a paying customer, who said it wasn’t my right to sit in the chair at the bakery and drink my coffee and read my paper eh? Now who is clutching at straws.
I stayed there until she left. I wasn’t going to leave my sister with her at the risk of being attacked again. Who does she think she is to victimise my sister when she’d done nothing wrong? She didn’t own the joint, but carries about herself an air as though she does when the bosses leave. Fair enough she is in charge and perhaps I’m being a judgemental bitch here, but no, she doesn’t own the joint and she has absolutely no right to reduce my sister to tears that way.
I can’t wait to leave this town. I have to get out of here. With lover away it’s even harder to deal with the bullshit and the backstabbing friends and the watching what you say every way you turn. I just want to leave, get out of this wretched, gossipy town and make a start elsewhere. With new friends, friends that will look out for me like I look out for them. Not friends that start a rumour that you’re a cheating bitch the first weekend your partner is away.
- Copywright Julienne Carter June 2011.